hello livejournal. im still here. and i miss the days when i devoted time to you each day. im always so busy. i should find time fo you in my day. i should find time for alot of things in my days.

in order to plan more me time, i have plans for next year (at the latest)..

i will be making birthday gifts. to the best that i can, i will not buy gifts. this will help me to get a portfolio together of things ive made, so i can sell them online.

i will be bringing books to work, to read on my 30 minute lunch. i dont read. and i miss it. i will also own every nicolas sparks book.

i will watch at least one movie out of my collection a week. i have so many unopened movies. i think i should alphabetize them and start at the beginning. haha.

i will organize my music on my computer. rename and tag them all appropriatly. including all of my CD music. its a nightmare waiting to happen.

i will organize my bookmarks. condense all of the craft sites i have saved, and use the lovely free prints at FCCJ to make my own reference guides of crafts and recipes.

i love being a busy person =0/

and this was a shit for an update..goodnight

Dear sunshine..
Why must you hate me? Why must you give us these rediculously hot summer days? Why would you give us these days when I have to work? Why must you get my hopes up about spending the day at the beach,only to give me a disgustingly dark and gloomy day, not even presenting a drop of rain? And why must you give a beautiful sky of sunshine the following day as I return to work? Fuck you sunshine. I'm getting white. Not cool.

RIP Mimi- May 1 2009

mimi has passed away. after 13 years of having her in our life, she passed away from cancer. she had breast cancer, and surgury to remove it, a few months ago. then a few weeks ago, she was having problems breathing. doc said it had probably spread to her lungs. on may 1, mom took her to doc to have chest xrays, and she passed away while being sedated for those xrays... she was getting old anyways.. and mom wouldnt have wanted her to suffer anymore anyways.. she will be missed. she is missed so much already...

mom buried her in our backyard, next to blacky. moms aid she will be planting flowers over their graves, and making a tombstone for mimi [and fixing blackys].

through your life, people will come and go, but your dog will leave pawprints on your heart forever.

I'm in such a blah mood. Had a blast last night with friends.times I miss. This morning was spent coloring with alexis and then a small nap before work. I'm here now with no motivation for anything. I'm just so stressed. For the past month I haven't really been able to sleep.at first it wasn't stress related.I just had retarded insomnia. Then I started ggetting stressed that I wasn't sleeping and then shit started going wrong. Work is just blah. There's so much going on. Laura drives me insane. And we've just always got something to worry about, ecosure, tim,or other dm visits. Everyones telling me how they've lost their passion with starbucks.I see it too. So much for that old school coffeehouse feeling.

Then there's chris. Gah. At first he was so persistant on wanting to hang out. But when I couldn't or didn't want to,he'd get negative,and it was pretty annoying. He told me about how he has no friends and wants to do things but doesn't wanna go alone. I felt bad. He was a nice guy so I said fine,and we hung out a few times. We had great times,he's really cool. But it'd like he's trying to hard to make me stay his friend.and that's annoyying. We haven't seen eachother in a few days cause I've been busy and he gets attitudey and jealous that I'm @ bourban.or a party which I did invite him too,and it was all negativeness and jealousy from there,questioning me and gah I got so mad. He's gonna get pissed that I won't want to hang this week,I need to do schoolwork.desperatly.

My american history class is fine. But my humanities, the syllabus says all is due may 1. Well today is april 19. So far I have all the bookwork done. All I need to do is write 13 short 250 word essays and 3 tests,then submit my work. Well like I said the due date is may 1 right? Well I got 2 emails from my teacher.one saying everything is due apr 28. Ok that's cool.np. the second,said if I don't have my tests completed by aug 20 I will get a FN in the class,meaning failure to attend. Its an online course and the due date is may 1!! Wtffff so I sent her an email and called brittany and had an anxiety attack crying... she says well get the tests done tomarrow. And ill start my essays tomarrow,and paty bree to do some hppefully. Ughhhhh

Well I must retreat back to work :[ coffee awaits.

Had a blast in the bahamas/ on the cruise. I love getting out of here. I guess I shouldn't move from jacksonville considering getting out and going anywhere thrills me extremly. Not saying I am moving,justr that I hate it here.

I really think I want to start blogging. I hate that word (blog). But a few different ways. I 1want to take a photo a day,not necessarily of me, but of something. And I want to make a journal type scrapbook with the pics,and talk of each photo. I also want to do a random blog.instead of filling it with daily life stories, full it with random things I love or find amazing. I spend a lot of time online anyways so why not.

As much as I hate driving in it I do love rainy weather. I love the feelingh of staying inside and occupying time somehow,baking, crafting,relaxing,anything. And work is always dead ass slow. I'm at work now and off in 2 hours yay!!! I must get back to work tho.

rawrrrrr i really hate people.....

ive said it before.but im going to make it a habit to update daily/bidaily or when events of importance come along. i miss writing.

my 21st birthday is in 36 days. im stoked. were trying to go on a cruise. but i was deeply saddened when i looked at my credit card balance today to see i have $64 avail!!! omggg how did i let myself charge up $500 in 2 months!! ugh. nathan told mom hed give me $1000 at the end of the month. of course it going to the CC. im also following up on my tuition reimbursment for starbucks, thats going to the CC. or moreso, paying for my cruise. also, my tips. my tips will basically be my spending money. but were going to the bahamas, so i have nothing i want to buy there except DRINKS and a bathing suit wrap. and omg those oh so tastey nachos at senor frogs!!!! im so happy tho, because mia and brittany said theyd go, also liz, nathan, mom, john, and my aunt terry :] im inviting my dad as well, once we get things set in stone with dates and prices. im so stoked thoooo!

im going to disney this weekend with noah and adam, for noahs birthday. since ive already gotten my pass, the only thing i have to pay for is gas and food, which i will be eating CHEAP since i maxed my cards. and it costs $30 to fill my tank, i can get to disney and back on that. hell yeah..its gonna be a blast :]

works great. im still at starbucks and i love every day of it. i will be saddened the day i have to leave. i was thinking of it the other day,when i was talking to summer, that when i have to start doing my million hours for my CDA that i cant work full time at the bux. i dont know WAHT im gonna do money wise, but i can work weekends definatly, and a few other short nights too. makes me sad. but hey that wont be for a WHILE.

holy crap it always ends like this. i gotta go to work. peace LJ<3

Dear livejournal. I still love you. I'm sorry ive neglected you since August. And may before that. We must get together more often to catch up. Much love, me.


Merry day after Christmas. Didn't feel like Christmas at all. Was happy to spend time with the family, especially with Nathan home. I didn't ask for much for Christmas but I got what I asked for. Scrap book goodies, organizer cubes for my shelfs. Pjs. Also got a ring, new mp3 player. Bath goodies and A purse. Good stuff.

Highlights since my last post.

My car has 1200 in damages. I took a check instead of fixing it and got 800 back.

I had an apartment for Nathan. He went to jail for a short time and I closed out with them. Assholes.

I managed to find classes and pay for them. Got my loan worked out as well, all good now,

I finally died my hair blonde underneath. Dahvie did it. And cut it. But my cut is too short on one side so I must get it fixed.

Cousin William passed away Dec 9. <3 didn't know him much but he's still missed and loved.

Work is great. Still a shift and workin crazy hours. Money money money.

Speaking of, must get back to work loves.

gotta love horoscopes......


With Mercury in your 7th House of Partnerships -- along with three other planets -- it becomes more of a challenge to honor your own desires and to justify seeking self-fulfillment. It's easy now to get your personal satisfaction mixed up with the needs of your friends and family members. Being supportive of loved ones is an admirable trait, but don't forget to also take care of yourself.

finally got my computer back!!! internet on a blackberry for 3 weeks isnt fun...

the past 2-3 weeks have sucked ass...

my keyboard fucked up on my computer again. dropped it off to get fixed.when they called a week later to let me know it was ready for pickup, i was stoked. went to get it, and the keyboard was still not working. so i sent it back, and was pissed of course again.

my blackberry started to fuck up again (buttons) but now its fine. its so annoying havign to text slowly because it doesnt work properly.

my car was fucking hit at work. a customer backed into it, looked at it, and left. i had friends sitting outside who saw it and got her tag number. only my driver taillight was fucked, but still. and she only got a ticket for improper backing. ugh. so i have to get estimates done if im gonna claim it.....and the cop who came out was a DOUCHEBAG. ugh.

went to disney for 3 days. fun fun fun. i made a kid cry. haha. best times. lil kid in the pool kept hitting me repeatedly with his blow up ball. mainly in my arm but he hit me in my face so i went off on him and threw his ball far away out of the pool. he got it and came back, and i said to him to please leave he was bothering me. he raised the ball like he was gonna throw it again so i said do it, i dare you. and he hit my in my face again. i took his ball and ripped it in half, and threw it back at him and walked away. the kid started crying.. fuckin idiot. where were his parents?? but our resort was nice. we had a good time. went to animal kingdom and mgm.  SO MUCH FUNNNNN. saw beauty and the beast and little mermaid and finding nemo shows. so much fun hehe. and tower of terror was AWESOME as well as aerosmith rockin rollercoaster....until i walked outside and realized i broke my camera on the ride!!! smashed the screen. ughhh so yah now thats sent out to be fixed.

geeze what else went wrong? eh besides standard money issues and my urge to strangle people on a daily basis... i may not go to school this semester. im tryign reallllly hard to, even if i have to take one class. basically, we have been putting off and putting off the fafsa and they dropped the classes i signed up for. even tho i have a student loan, i dont really get it till i do the fafsa. well they didnt tell me thattttt. fafsa deadline was the 1st. im submitting it tonight and i hope it comes back in time for me to register for at least one class... i could really use the loan to pay off my credit card....and then i can get tuition reimbursment from work...


anyways. lots of stuff to get done before work.

<3<3<3

rawrrr things have been so hectic. i still have so much to do it seems before wednesday, but since i work i dont have the time to do it.
classes start tomarrow. i know ill go to my math class but iono about my psych class. if i find someone to work my shift tomarrow, ill be able to go. and i will be missing my first english class as well,because wednesday i leave for virginia. but tomarrow is mommas birthday, and i feel crappy about it but i wont get to see much of her because im off but with classes while she is at work and then im at work when she gets off. im pretty bummed.im going to try and find someone to cover half my shfit on tues so i can go to class, and get to see mom as well.
but yeah, im going to VA on wednesday,and ill return on friday. short trip i know but i want to see frankie again before he leaves for iraq, so im flyin up there :] im so excited.
today, i have to meet with a girl at FCCJ to sell her my old math book, go to mommas work, orint some labels to mail my eng book out since i sold it on half.com, get my eyebrows waxed, meet up with nathan to get my money he owes me, and then work at 215. rawrrrr and i close... tomarrow morning im gonna go up to moms work, then i have classes, and then work at 215. somewhere i need to meet up with dad to get movies hes burning for frankie. im so fuckin stressed and im bummed that im missing classes the first week of school. oh and i dont even have my books yet!! rawrrrrrrrr ill go get em toamrrow between classes... or maybe this mornign iono.. well i guess im off of here... im sure ill post wednesday while im at the airport, if they have wifi..

so yeah... i jsut watched my turtle murder my new PRETTY albino sucker fish :[ im jsut sittin here doin homework and i look up to see him swim across the tank holding the fish in his mouth and he starts slammin him up against the glass :[ it was sad. i went to try n get my turtle off of him, but he had already ripped a chunk off of the fishes side..i knew that the fish wouldnt have survived, so i walked away. grrrr. i bought itty bitty fish to introduce my turtles to live food, and i bought the sucker fish the same night. well it took 3 days for them to eat the small fish, and i didnt plan on him eating this one!! i have another sucker fish in the tank as well,but ive had him since the turtles were itty bitty. the fish is as big as them now. grrr



rip pretty new [dead] fishy


anndd yeha i broke up with james...and he wont leave me alone, he wants to talk and get back together and work on things, but he doesnt understnad i dont want to be with him period, so im ignoring him...but the more i ignore him the more he trys to contact me. ugh i cant take it..

yayness.halloween horror nights TONIGHT. noah and i will be heading down at about noon, kristen will be driving down to meet up with us later, were gonna hit up downtown disney and then have some horrific FUNNNN.

yeah so ill be back tomarrow. and i think were gonna go to sanford on the was back to help kristen unpack, since shes movin =0/

this girl rocks, she makes some awesome shit :] check it out :P

the cruise was a ton of fun.

drove down to palm bay to my aunts house saturday night. grandpa and grandma cooked up a big southern yummy breakfast sunday. everyone went there own way doing a bit of last minute shopping.

monday (also was my daddys birthday :] ) was a bit hectic, getting things together and getting on the road to port canaveral. i was following my uncle, who missed our turn and we got a bit lost. lol. waited foreverrr to finally board the ship. since we all packed our bathing suits in our carry on,knowing we wouldnt et our luggage for a while, we got to swim in the pool when we got on. ugh it was a salt water pool. gross. we didnt do too much , just explored swam and relaxed.

tuesday we were in Coco Cay. to get to the island we ahd to take a boat from our ship. well while wiating for that boat i got in a little argument with an old man and his rude family who dont understand the difference between a single file line and a floor full of people that doesnt come close to being considered organized. ughhh assholeeee.....anyways we spent our time at the beach the whole day and i got BURNT ugh it hurt, of course i didnt put sunblock on my back so yeah i wasnt able to wear a bra all week. we had a yummy barbeque breakfast. i ended up getting in the water tho i didnt want to, i hate salt water. but it was so hot. and the water was so pretty. i built a sandturtle with my cousin taylor and then RJ destroyed him. and we seen a sting ray, it was so cool,he just swam right up to us, maybe 7 feet into the water, only as deep as mid calf. My aunt and i were supposed to go parasailing at 2, and of course at 145, flash-boom-and we were rained out and it was cancelled :'[ we were looking forward to it. had a bit of craziness with me thinking i lost my liscense and boarding card, thought i left it in the bathroom but no it was in my bathing suit where i always lose stuff :] got back to the ship, got ready for formal night, met up for group pictures and had a yummy dinner. we all struggled to stay up late for the chocolate party!! yumm it was so good. it was nothign but a chocolate buffet, chocolate fruits, chocolate cakes.. YUMMMM

wednesday (my aunts birthday) we were in nassau. we all walked around doing some shopping but it ended up being wayyy to hot outside so we went back to the ship to have lunch and let it cool down outside. i took a lil nap, and then daddy and i were the only ones who went back to the island. did a little more shopping at senor frogs and a bunch of little souvenier shops. on the ship that night after dinner we went to this awesome comedy magic show, and a fun gameshow called love and marriage. we had a farewell party ont he pool deck that night, with some good music and yummy food. taylor had me up dancing, yes leah danced for a while. did the cha cha slide liek 3 times and split my pants "bringing it down low" haha.

thursday was an at sea day. spent it mainly by the pool layin out, and swimmin with taylor and RJ. had some yummy ice cream and a few yummy drinks. taylor and i got matching butterfly tattoos. my dad, cousin danielle, and two of her friends ended up at this adult gameshow, which come to find out it was like a scavenger hunt. it was CRAZY! the whole room participated ad split up into teams, the host would request somethingand you would have to run to the dance floor with it, for instance he asked for a guy with pants on backwards, a guy and a girl sharing a pair of pants, a girl witha  thong (undies or a flip flop for thsoe who got smart) a guy with 3 bras in hand [which my cousins bra ended up int he ahnds of the host because he wanted the owner to come up and claim the 'hammocks' in his hand. haha she wouldnt do it, he was walking around with it, and had it on his head lol it was great) and best of all (but at the same time WORST for me) a guy with no pants on, wearing a bra, lipstick and a handbag... who from our team got to go up?? MY DAD!!! haha. thankfully he kept his pants on cause he had board shorts on with no undies underneath. the guys had to dance around the room and collect tips. hahah it was sooo much fun :]

Friday sadly we had to dock and our vacation was coming to an end. we had so much fun tho and have so many pictures between us all. below are 3 links to some pictures. im still waiting on more pics from a few other people and will update with those when i get them :] cant wait for next time!!!

http://share.shutterfly.com/action/welcome?sid=0AaMWbdo5ZsWLDNA

http://share.shutterfly.com/action/welcome?sid=0AaMWbdo5ZsWLDFg

http://share.dell.shutterfly.com/action/slideshow?a=67b0de21b35366bac49b&auto=1&idx=0

this is exactly fuckign why i dont like people using my computer. ALL of my fucking music is GONE. im talking about that i had moved EVERY SONG from EVERY CD i own, and trust me i fucking have ALOT, and i downloaded ALOT more. and its all fucking GONE. its not even in my recycle bin!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK

check it out yo :P

bout time i got something decent on here!!! i cant find a fox and the hound layout like i want..