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Jul. 9th, 2010

The worst feeling in the world is knowing you've been used and lied to. Perhaps I saw what I wanted to see in him and made him to be more than he was.While I was holding on all he did was let go.So, from now on when you think of me, just remember that I could've been the best thing you ever had.If one day you realize that I haven't talked to you in a while it's not because I don't care anymore it's because you pushed me away and just left me there... Sometimes we must get hurt in order to grow; we must fail in order to know. Sometimes our vision only clears after our eyes are washed away with tears..I wish I saved all the tears I cried for you so I could fucking drown you in them.

Nov. 25th, 2009

hello livejournal. im still here. and i miss the days when i devoted time to you each day. im always so busy. i should find time fo you in my day. i should find time for alot of things in my days.

in order to plan more me time, i have plans for next year (at the latest)..

i will be making birthday gifts. to the best that i can, i will not buy gifts. this will help me to get a portfolio together of things ive made, so i can sell them online.

i will be bringing books to work, to read on my 30 minute lunch. i dont read. and i miss it. i will also own every nicolas sparks book.

i will watch at least one movie out of my collection a week. i have so many unopened movies. i think i should alphabetize them and start at the beginning. haha.

i will organize my music on my computer. rename and tag them all appropriatly. including all of my CD music. its a nightmare waiting to happen.

i will organize my bookmarks. condense all of the craft sites i have saved, and use the lovely free prints at FCCJ to make my own reference guides of crafts and recipes.

i love being a busy person =0/

and this was a shit for an update..goodnight

dear sunshine..

Dear sunshine..
Why must you hate me? Why must you give us these rediculously hot summer days? Why would you give us these days when I have to work? Why must you get my hopes up about spending the day at the beach,only to give me a disgustingly dark and gloomy day, not even presenting a drop of rain? And why must you give a beautiful sky of sunshine the following day as I return to work? Fuck you sunshine. I'm getting white. Not cool.
RIP Mimi- May 1 2009

mimi has passed away. after 13 years of having her in our life, she passed away from cancer. she had breast cancer, and surgury to remove it, a few months ago. then a few weeks ago, she was having problems breathing. doc said it had probably spread to her lungs. on may 1, mom took her to doc to have chest xrays, and she passed away while being sedated for those xrays... she was getting old anyways.. and mom wouldnt have wanted her to suffer anymore anyways.. she will be missed. she is missed so much already...

mom buried her in our backyard, next to blacky. moms aid she will be planting flowers over their graves, and making a tombstone for mimi [and fixing blackys].

through your life, people will come and go, but your dog will leave pawprints on your heart forever.


I'm in such a blah mood. Had a blast last night with friends.times I miss. This morning was spent coloring with alexis and then a small nap before work. I'm here now with no motivation for anything. I'm just so stressed. For the past month I haven't really been able to sleep.at first it wasn't stress related.I just had retarded insomnia. Then I started ggetting stressed that I wasn't sleeping and then shit started going wrong. Work is just blah. There's so much going on. Laura drives me insane. And we've just always got something to worry about, ecosure, tim,or other dm visits. Everyones telling me how they've lost their passion with starbucks.I see it too. So much for that old school coffeehouse feeling.

Then there's chris. Gah. At first he was so persistant on wanting to hang out. But when I couldn't or didn't want to,he'd get negative,and it was pretty annoying. He told me about how he has no friends and wants to do things but doesn't wanna go alone. I felt bad. He was a nice guy so I said fine,and we hung out a few times. We had great times,he's really cool. But it'd like he's trying to hard to make me stay his friend.and that's annoyying. We haven't seen eachother in a few days cause I've been busy and he gets attitudey and jealous that I'm @ bourban.or a party which I did invite him too,and it was all negativeness and jealousy from there,questioning me and gah I got so mad. He's gonna get pissed that I won't want to hang this week,I need to do schoolwork.desperatly.

My american history class is fine. But my humanities, the syllabus says all is due may 1. Well today is april 19. So far I have all the bookwork done. All I need to do is write 13 short 250 word essays and 3 tests,then submit my work. Well like I said the due date is may 1 right? Well I got 2 emails from my teacher.one saying everything is due apr 28. Ok that's cool.np. the second,said if I don't have my tests completed by aug 20 I will get a FN in the class,meaning failure to attend. Its an online course and the due date is may 1!! Wtffff so I sent her an email and called brittany and had an anxiety attack crying... she says well get the tests done tomarrow. And ill start my essays tomarrow,and paty bree to do some hppefully. Ughhhhh

Well I must retreat back to work :[ coffee awaits.


Had a blast in the bahamas/ on the cruise. I love getting out of here. I guess I shouldn't move from jacksonville considering getting out and going anywhere thrills me extremly. Not saying I am moving,justr that I hate it here.

I really think I want to start blogging. I hate that word (blog). But a few different ways. I 1want to take a photo a day,not necessarily of me, but of something. And I want to make a journal type scrapbook with the pics,and talk of each photo. I also want to do a random blog.instead of filling it with daily life stories, full it with random things I love or find amazing. I spend a lot of time online anyways so why not.

As much as I hate driving in it I do love rainy weather. I love the feelingh of staying inside and occupying time somehow,baking, crafting,relaxing,anything. And work is always dead ass slow. I'm at work now and off in 2 hours yay!!! I must get back to work tho.
rawrrrrr i really hate people.....
ive said it before.but im going to make it a habit to update daily/bidaily or when events of importance come along. i miss writing.

my 21st birthday is in 36 days. im stoked. were trying to go on a cruise. but i was deeply saddened when i looked at my credit card balance today to see i have $64 avail!!! omggg how did i let myself charge up $500 in 2 months!! ugh. nathan told mom hed give me $1000 at the end of the month. of course it going to the CC. im also following up on my tuition reimbursment for starbucks, thats going to the CC. or moreso, paying for my cruise. also, my tips. my tips will basically be my spending money. but were going to the bahamas, so i have nothing i want to buy there except DRINKS and a bathing suit wrap. and omg those oh so tastey nachos at senor frogs!!!! im so happy tho, because mia and brittany said theyd go, also liz, nathan, mom, john, and my aunt terry :] im inviting my dad as well, once we get things set in stone with dates and prices. im so stoked thoooo!

im going to disney this weekend with noah and adam, for noahs birthday. since ive already gotten my pass, the only thing i have to pay for is gas and food, which i will be eating CHEAP since i maxed my cards. and it costs $30 to fill my tank, i can get to disney and back on that. hell yeah..its gonna be a blast :]

works great. im still at starbucks and i love every day of it. i will be saddened the day i have to leave. i was thinking of it the other day,when i was talking to summer, that when i have to start doing my million hours for my CDA that i cant work full time at the bux. i dont know WAHT im gonna do money wise, but i can work weekends definatly, and a few other short nights too. makes me sad. but hey that wont be for a WHILE.

holy crap it always ends like this. i gotta go to work. peace LJ<3
Dear livejournal. I still love you. I'm sorry ive neglected you since August. And may before that. We must get together more often to catch up. Much love, me.

Merry day after Christmas. Didn't feel like Christmas at all. Was happy to spend time with the family, especially with Nathan home. I didn't ask for much for Christmas but I got what I asked for. Scrap book goodies, organizer cubes for my shelfs. Pjs. Also got a ring, new mp3 player. Bath goodies and A purse. Good stuff.

Highlights since my last post.

My car has 1200 in damages. I took a check instead of fixing it and got 800 back.

I had an apartment for Nathan. He went to jail for a short time and I closed out with them. Assholes.

I managed to find classes and pay for them. Got my loan worked out as well, all good now,

I finally died my hair blonde underneath. Dahvie did it. And cut it. But my cut is too short on one side so I must get it fixed.

Cousin William passed away Dec 9. <3 didn't know him much but he's still missed and loved.

Work is great. Still a shift and workin crazy hours. Money money money.

Speaking of, must get back to work loves.

Aug. 10th, 2008

gotta love horoscopes......

With Mercury in your 7th House of Partnerships -- along with three other planets -- it becomes more of a challenge to honor your own desires and to justify seeking self-fulfillment. It's easy now to get your personal satisfaction mixed up with the needs of your friends and family members. Being supportive of loved ones is an admirable trait, but don't forget to also take care of yourself.

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